07/21/2002

Ham: Greetings, children, I am Ham and I am pleased to
be here again in your midst. This evening, let us speak
of spiritual progress. What is it, how do you gauge your
progress? How do you know you are growing truly in
the spirit?

You who experience this growth actually feel the
difference and acknowledge the changes taking place
within you. You see your love expanding and being
refined at the same time. It is easier to love and to be
loved every day. You know you are growing when you
feel the pain of inner change occur and then become
comfortable and part of who you are.

There are only two roads, one is forward one is a
stagnation that leads to gradual deterioration of faith.
Some people are too afraid to grow. They are afraid to
admit fault, afraid to be wrong, they are afraid to change
as though by changing it would belittle their status now.
These people hold on to life as if it were some kind of
stage filled with props, never changing and their role is
replayed day after day, night after night.

But life is dynamic. To be engaged you must change.
Those who hear the Father’s voice and respond to his
call know that they must continually leave the old behind
and embrace the new. They continually say that life has
not turned out the way they thought it would, it is better.
It is better not to be in such control. It’s better to follow
the Father’s calling where ever it may lead you. It’s
better to be unconcerned with the path and only
concerned with your own growth. It’s better to change
as the Father would have you change than to stagnate
in your own expectations.

Allow the Father’s love to pull you toward him. This
pulling sometimes goes through narrow openings
requiring that you shed old possessions that won’t fit.
The Father’s beckoning love is also a cleansing love.
Create in me a clean heart oh Lord. This was spoken by
a God knowing man, one who had experienced the pain
of growth and the cleansing of the Father’s true love.

People speak of coming before the Lord. But, you are
always before him. His gaze is never lifted from you.
The process of growth, change, and moving toward
God is a constant one. You may feel it more at certain
times, but always is the Father cleansing you, loving
you, and pulling you toward him. When your heart
experiences this cleansing, there is a change of feeling,
an alteration of attitude. You realize you must let go of
hurt, or anger, or self-justification and embrace what is
new.

Each day is brand new. Relationships can be new.
Possibilities are new. All these things depend upon the
cleanliness of one’s heart. Are there any questions at
this time?

Q: Other than asking God to help develop a clean heart
in me, what else can I do to develop a clean heart?

Ham: You will find it in your decisions. When hurt
feelings or anger begins to assert itself and you have
the courage to turn it down and start over, that develops
cleanliness of heart.

Q: May I have a personal message please?

Ham: Yes my son, you do very well. You are always a
man of good intentions. You are very helpful to others.
And sometimes, you have difficulty realizing
yourself/who you are in the world out of misplaced
fears. There is part of you that, like everyone, is still the
child looking for approval, looking for love and
acceptance. And so sometimes your need for
acceptance makes you less than self-realizing because
you are afraid to offend. Then, there is another part of
you that goes to the other extreme of believing in your
nonacceptance and fulfilling that in the world as well.
Something about not being worthy of love, something
about proving it out and so these contradictions
continually war within you. But, there is a balance and
an integration of these disparate feelings that is more
true and more full of personal self-acceptance. Finding
this balance and self-acceptance will translate into
growth. Balance is truly a key to growth and a growing
self-confidence. You do very well my son. Go in peace.

Q: Ham do you have any counsel for me tonight?

Ham: Certainly. You are gaining balance through small
steps and this is truly the key to a balanced life. You are
putting one foot before the other and refusing to get to
far ahead of yourself. This is correct. Be careful to keep
your balance in all that you do. If that means going slow,
so be it. Is this making sense?

Q: Yes Ham.

Q: Ham, can you please tell me about my mother’s
transition and her state of being?

Ham: Yes, your mother is doing very fine. This transition
was a wonderful thing for her and though she sleeps
now, she will awaken fully restored and this period of
decline will be like a short, bad dream and will hardly be
remembered at all. But her life in its fullness – a mother,
a wife, a friend, a daughter -- all these things will be
remembered and will be treasured in her heart always.
When you were born, my dear, you were a great source
of joy for your mother. And through your early years,
though she didn’t always understand you, her love
deepened and grew. Though you didn’t really know it,
she grew in respect for you and her love was
unshakable. During these last years, you fulfilled every
duty, discharged every responsibility, and showed great
devotion and caring. Your mother will know of this,
thought she could not comprehend it during this life.
This will always be something treasured for her and for
you. It is interesting that she remained so long as your
father remained. She was very devoted and was afraid
to leave him, even though there was nothing she could
do for him any more. He was very much a connection
that held her to this world. In the next life, they will be
reunited and journey on together. Be happy and joyous
for this time is coming soon. Is this helping?

Q: Of course it is helping immensely. Can I ask one
more question?

Ham: Yes.

Q: Do you mean she is going to sleep until he is going
to wake up?

Ham: Yes.

Q: Do you mean that its coming soon?

Ham: Yes.

Q: Not one of these thousand year roll call things?

Ham: The next special resurrection should be in the
next fifty years of so. Quite soon.

Q: So shes not... I don’t know how to ask this.

Ham: She will sleep until this time when they awaken
together. It is a short time and this was her decision.

Q: Do you have anything for Rebecca?

Ham: Daughter you do well. Rest and relax a little more.
Fear not for the future looks very bright. Be careful to be
always open to new ideas, new directions and
opportunities. Fear not, for all is well.

Q: Jarad?

Ham: Yes, my son, seek stability, seek routine, find
comfort in determination. You do very well. You have
nothing to fear. All that you need will be added unto you.

Q: Do you have a follow-up on last weeks question
about the gay son?

Ham: No, nothing more. Seeking spiritual peace is an
individual road. Finding spiritual peace is entirely an
individual matter. My blessings are upon this family and
all its members. Seek and you shall find.

Q: Do you have a personal message for PZ?

Ham: In regards to personal messages, they should be
asked by the person desiring. Once again, my love and
prayers are upon this family. Fear not for each other.
You are all in the Father’s hands. It is good, however, to
see this concern.

Q: Do you have a personal message for Norbert?

Ham: Yes, my son, don’t worry so much. Eventually you
must come to realize that all things are in the Father’s
hands and human beings possess very little power. The
most you can do is learn from your experience, grow
toward the Father, and love your fellows with the full
measure of love that you are capable of giving.
Everything else lies very much with the Father.

Q: Do you have a personal message for Charlie B?

Ham: Yes, my son, you do well. Be at peace with
yourself. Do not pull yourself in two directions. Be
steadfast with your honorable decisions and don’t doubt
yourself.

Q: Do you have any feedback for me this week?

Ham: Certainly. Yes, I observe you growing in
confidence. I see that you are a person of honor and
integrity. This is very important. You are someone who
finds love to be almost second to duty and honor. Put
love first and duty and honor will follow. That is, love
what you do and your integrity, your steadfast
commitments will be less of a burden and more a
garment worn lightly. But, you are coming to these
conclusions on your own. Is this not so?

Q; Yes, I think so, more quickly in some areas than
others.

Ham: Yes.

Go in peace my children. You all do very well. You are
all growing and moving in the spirit toward the Father.
Each one of you hears his call and responds all the time
and this is a great fulfillment for me to observe. Each
one of you is sincere and whole hearted in your
grasping of faith. I could ask nothing more from my
students. I am very pleased with all of you. Farewell.