ANATOLIA - GRIEF
SEPTEMBER 12, 2002

Greetings, this is Anatolia. Welmek is away on assignment this evening,
and I have agreed to step in for him. I am familiar with your lesson last
week on the topic of grief, and I have a lesson prepared on this topic as
a continuation of the instruction. For as you all know, your country is
still in a period of mourning, and there is much confusion and despair
that have been triggered by the events of last year’s September 11th
terrorist attack.

And this attack has struck a deep nerve. For it is not only the loss of
life or the sense of destruction in your homeland security that you feel.
But it strikes deeper, in the soul of those individuals who know not the
way of the Father’s foundation within them, and have not experienced His
deep love and stabilizing force-presence within them.

There is a great sadness in this; and yet there is great potential. For
you have more opportunity to help your brothers and sisters find that
place of comfort and faith within them that will transcend all of the
confusion and all of the despair that they feel.

So I wish to offer this lesson on faith and grief. For the two are very
much intertwined, while at times you must grieve in order to exercise
your faith, and while it is in the faith growth that you experience, the
shedding and the letting go of old ideas is important now. And how your
very tender feeling natures are tinged by the sadness of letting go of
something, or should I say familiar but perhaps sad, into something
unknown.

Human experience entails growth and learning. Would you all agree with
this statement? (All agree)

When you learn a new fact, or should I say, when you experience a new
interchange with one of your brothers and sisters, you usually will come
away with a positive or a negative feeling about the exchange. When you
learn a new concept, it will either leave you with a feeling of growth
and excitement, or it will make you feel downcast. And here again I am
speaking in the realm of generalities.

Your lives have been composed of an admixture of both positive and
negative experiences and ideas. And you become very confused, because
there are so many ideas running within you and operating and dominating
your thoughts. You do things automatically. You do things reactively. And
sometimes you do things impulsively. And then your better nature tells
you: “Oh, I have made a mistake. That wasn’t what I intended to do.” You
feel tension and discomfort there.

Grieving begins when you sense this discomfort. It is a natural response
triggered within your mind to alert you to the awareness that something
has occurred that is out of alignment with God’s will for you. This is a
natural response. How many of you, and again I am speaking in
generalities, look at grieving in this way? Is this a new idea for you
that I am sharing now?

Student: I hear that every sentence you are saying is speaking directly
to my condition. This is a new, new perspective for me.

Anatolia: Any other comments?

Student: I didn’t get the full sense in which you explained. I have a
hearing problem, so I sometimes don’t tend to get it all.

Anatolia: Grieving begins as a natural response when you have made a
mistake and gained a sense within you that something is wrong. It is a
sense that you have stepped out of alignment of God’s will for you. And I
was asking the group if this is a new idea for you this evening.

Student: Yes

Student: It’s a simple and useful way to look at it

Anatolia: D. Is this new for you?

Student: I was just pondering it, trying to understand it. Because I feel
when the path when I have been out of alignment, there’s sometimes other
emotions or other feelings besides grief. But there is a sorrow. But also
within that sorrow is understanding that I have been out of alignment and
I don’t want to be in that space anymore. I found out who I am not.

Anatolia: And this is my point. That in this first sensing that you have
made a mistake and you are out of alignment, this uncomfortableness is a
sense of sadness or sorrow. And it is the first stage in the emotion of
grief. This is where it begins. And there are depths of grief that you
carry and retain within you over the course of your lifetime.

Student: May I comment for a moment?

Anatolia: Yes

Student: I’m sorry. What I noticed is that as I become more and more in
alignment, in tune with God’s will, that when I do for a second be out of
alignment, that sorrow, that sadness, that grief gets more intense. It’s
much more exaggerated, because I know I wasn’t true to myself. I am sorry
for interrupting.

Anatolia: You have raised a salient point that I would like to comment
upon further in the lesson. Let us continue with the progression.

Each individual on this world has carried to varying degrees an imprint
of grief that has been passed down through the generations, because this
planet has been so out of line with the divine plan and the divine
alignment for it. As you read from your Urantia text, you know that
planetary rebellion has taken a very large toll on the natural
progression of how a planet ascends to light and life in the universe,
along with its citizens on a similar individual course of spiritual
growth and enlightenment.

Had you been blessed with the spiritual regime that was planned for you,
you would have well understood how to be more amenable to your inner
spirit dwelling within you, guidance that would keep you in a more
regimented path to finding the Father and following the divine will. Your
teachers, your family, your institutional belief systems would have
supported more ideas and ideals to conserve and to teach spiritual
growth.

However, in as much this planet has been out of step with the universe,
you have carried this legacy within you now. And because you try to
assert your own limited understanding into living your life, when you
make a mistake you will touch, and I would say even, cause that wound of
grief festering within you to open even more. That is one of the reasons
you see the depth of despair and despondency on this world. Your hearts
have been hardened and closed to the love and to the guidance and the
nurturing that should have been your divine birthright. And so your
tendency to use your own limited thinking, in place of following your
divine plan and doing the Father’s will, has been greatly and even say at
times very damagingly impeded.

So grief has cast a shadow over your soul. And when difficult and
devastating events, like what happened on September 11 last year, strike
at the core of your being ­ which is now being upstepped spiritually on a
collective basis ­ the sense of grief can be overpowering. And because
people’s spiritual foundations are not firmly rooted in the Father’s love
for them, and they know not of the Father’s goodness and truth and
beauty, they are lost. They are in despair. And this is why you see the
wide variety of comments from people who have been so affected by this
occurrence.

And to address D.’s comments, now that the portals of love are shining
through you, everything that is of shadow, everything that is of evil,
everything that is not of the Father’s will for you, is coming up into
the surface of your mind. And you feel its impact, and you feel its tinge
of poison within you, and you no longer want it in you. You reject it.

And so some people will feel when this poison is starting to outpour of
the soul, it is very confusing; because some people do not realize that
it is being expressed so it can be killed and banished from the soul
forever ­ and to no longer be a part of that which dominates your
feelings and behavior.

So, my friends, what can you do to help your brothers and sisters who go
through this grief? And I say to you, share your experiences of grief
with them. Empathize with their plight. And share the Father’s love that
you have felt. And tell them there is a source of peace and gentleness
and healing and love within them; and to spend time each day and ask for
that source to be activated. And to spend time sensing that healing power
of God’s love that wants to take the stain of poison and grief out of
very cell of your body ­ that you are free to live in faith and to be in
alignment with the Father’s will for you.

I will pause now for your comments or questions.

Student: Anatolia, what you are saying rings very true in my experience.
In that sense, the other night when Welmek asked for grief and I couldn’t
find any, now I think there is a lot of little micro-griefs all over the
place. And I think in my own case, wrestling with a petty little bad
habit, I think it got pretty admixed with guilt. And so I like your
analysis where it all begins because if you can pay attention and catch
the origin, you have some control of the development. Also I think it
might explain to me why my association with you and Welmek and Michael
and these wonderful folks around me, have led me back to feeling more ­
that this grief was a kind of numbness that I am emerging from. And I
thank you very much.

Anatolia: My friend, that which has been within you as this shadow of
grief has to a limited degree attracted certain negative states of
behavior. I do not feel it is my duty to speak to you about the cause of
this within you, but rather to inform you this evening that you have the
right to ask Michael, in his love for you, to break this cycle within
you. And to begin the outpouring of all these little noxious fumes of
grief within you so that they can finally be eliminated and you become
free from that which you find distasteful in your life.

Remember, my friend, that you live cooperatively with spirit. The spirit
that works within you delights in making you whole, and making you well,
and helping you to overcome that which has impeded your continued and
progressive experience in coming to know more of the Father in His love
and goodness and beauty.

Your role in this is to offer your willingness to be purified, so that
these habits that you find so nasty can be eliminated; and what is
replaced within you is a habit that you find healthy and life-affirming.
Does this help?

Student: Anatolia, you have a perfect grasp of the situation. I agree
100%. There is a tendency sometimes, maybe a kind of perverse curiosity,
that leads to a shutting off of experience. I think you would call it
denial, or a clinging to that which you know is not light, and seems a
failure of will. And it expresses itself as a reluctance to call for
help, even from Michael, because you mistrust your own sincerity.

You see, even that, in a sense is creating it, to overly define it like
this, actually seems to create it as a positive thing. And I understood
Welmek to say forget about it, just keep moving forward and it will just
drop away. Don’t concentrate, don’t focus on it, replace it and let it
just wither away. And I feel that’s happening. I’m very hopeful.

Anatolia: It is true that your thought about this habit does give it a
certain edge or control over you. When you feel yourself in the gravity
pull of this habit, all you need to ask is that Michael come into your
being and reverse the gravity pull and have it aligned with Him. In this
way He can then come into your being and begin to shift that which is
controlling you into that which is being more controlled by Him ­ and you
will sense, in time, that there is more of a connection and relationship
between you and Michael. Does this help?

Student: Yes, I think it’s happening, Anatolia. I feel it happening. I’ve
had a few contacts with Michael here these last few Mondays that were
just absolutely priceless. Yes it works. I just need to try it more.
Thank you for pointing the way. I agree.

Anatolia: Thank you for being an alert student.

Student: I am feeling so much frustrated because so many of the people
that I am associated with in this group have had experiences of Michael
and of Welmek, and I haven’t. And I feel there’s something wrong with me,
or that I am not doing it right, or I’m not doing it enough. I wonder
what is keeping me from the communication and the vibrancy of radiance
that probably felt by quite a few people in this group, in this
community.

Anatolia: Those who have felt a stronger connection to Michael and Mother
Spirit paint a very enticing and compelling portrait, do they not? (Yes)
And this is something that you wish to experience yourself. Is this
correct? (Yes)

It is quite natural and normal to desire these things, my friend, and I
say to you tonight, be patient. You are undergoing a major and
life-changing transformation, and you may not be able to sense any of the
wonderful things that are happening within you now. Please do not compare
your journey with anyone else’s. It will lead to frustration and despair
at times.

You have your own path. And the Father and Mother and Michael are deftly
and gently guiding you now. Focus only on them in wanting to come to even
greater understanding and experiential realization within your body of
who they are. You have in your mind a better degree of this desire, and
what it conceptually may mean to you. But I sense within you that there
is a tendency to substitute this conceptual awareness for the feeling
that you now lack. Do you understand what I mean? (Oh yes, I do, very
much so.)

So I caution you about this tendency and ask you to hold this in abeyance
for a time, and only focus now on letting them into your being and having
their way in you in making you into that which you have been created to
be.

Student: Very helpful, very helpful indeed. And I appreciate that.

Anatolia: You are welcome. And I hope you will hold this thought in mind
as you read this transcript about what tendency you have and letting it
go, so that they can do more of their beautiful transformative work
within you.

Student: Thank you.

Anatolia: You are most welcome.

Student: Well, I’d like to speak up at this point, if I may. I think your
question was “how can we help those people out there experiencing the
severe grief” and I found myself blocked in being able to answer that
question, because I was experiencing a form of grief on a mini level that
was blocking me.

And it’s almost a ridiculous mini level as well. But I feel it may be
relevant to use it as an example. It was very simply, as I came tonight,
I noticed as I was driving here that I was hungry and all I had with me
in the vehicle was some chocolate, which I ate. I don’t think it’s good
for me to eat chocolate most of the time.

But as I was sitting here listening, I found myself somewhat distracted
and just a little bit towards having a headache, which I something I have
a lot of anyways ­ or have had.

So I am thinking, as my associate to my left was saying about these nasty
habits, that it would be really nice to be in the habit myself of
immediately replacing the tendency to fall back into those nasty habits
-- such as allowing myself to feel hungry and then eating something
that’s so good for me. And instead immediately switching into a
remembrance of the Father or Michael or the Mother Spirit.

So that’s what I’d like to do, and that is what I have chosen that I will
do. I think that will allow me, and anybody who wants to do the same
process, to be able to answer that same question that you asks, which is
how we can help the other people. It’s obvious to me that we are being
trained in being healed; so that we can, in fact, help a lot of people
out there with a lot of difficulties that they have no idea, as you have
mentioned, how to approach.

So that’s my comment, and I think I in essence answered pretty much
whatever the question that I had was.

Anatolia: I am very glad that the words that I have spoken tonight have
helped you in your understanding to the degree that you now see a new way
of handling an annoying habit and overcoming it. All of your thinking
patterns are habits. Would you agree with this?

Student: Yes, now that you’ve put it that way.

Anatolia: And so those that do not serve you can be altered by inviting
the presence of Michael and Mother Spirit into your being: to begin to
shift them and to work within those constructs within your mind that are
aligned with the Father, and expanding upon that which is good and true
and beautiful already existent within you -- and making it more so.

And then there are those habits of the physical body that will take time
to correct, because of the biochemical overcontrol that your system has
over you. It is important that you nourish yourself with appropriate
amounts of proper nutrition, and to spend time in ingesting these food
substances in an attitude of restful and worshipful communion with the
Father.

I know this may be a tall order to fill for many of you, because of your
lifestyles; but optimally food is an energy source. And it is a gift. And
as a gift, you can treat it with the reverence that it deserves, and eat
your food in an environment of peace and openness, inviting the presence
of the Father into your food, so that it can amplify and magnify the
energy in your cells and put it to good use.

You will know…. (side one of the tape ends.) by the way that you feel.
And so you can find the antidote for these, by going within and asking
for guidance ­ to be guided to those foods that will stimulate your
system in a healthy manner. And while this comment is addressed to R., it
is also for all of you. Use the gift of the bounty of nature to nourish
and sustain your energy mechanism in the way it was intended to by our
Creator. Does this help?

Student: Yes, and I realize that the people out there that we need to
help probably also have the same problem. And that their nutrition
conceivably would, the improvement of their nutrition would actually be
more able to be receptive to the awareness of the Father and the Mother
Spirit.

Anatolia: You are complex energy beings, and it is important to intake
the appropriate energy at the spiritual, mental and physical levels. And
so yes, my friend, what you say is true. (pause) Are there any more
comments or questions on grief this evening before we conclude?

Student: What I have been pondering over the past few days and at this
time, was a grief where I feel sad for people who cannot see who I am ­
who cannot see me for what I have to offer. They rather focus on my
weakness, or what I need to work on, or putting me down, or seeing me in
a negative light.

And it doesn’t seem so unnecessary, so wasteful of energy. All I want to
do is live in truth. I don’t need to hear someone’s opinion of me, who
doesn’t even know me ­ or doesn’t even spend time with me. I grieve, or
feel sad, that people can’t see me: the beauty and the love and the truth
and the integrity and the stability in how I live my life. It’s just
really said, and it makes it real difficult to live on this planet.

Anatolia: There is a challenge for you, my friend, now before you. I
would suggest that you take this question to Michael himself, and pose
it, perhaps, in this way: “Michael, please enlighten me as to why I feel
I must be affected by another person’s opinion of me.”

Let Him guide you to that place of insight and understanding. He will
show you how to let not anything of this world affect you, because you
will be so firmly rooted in the Father’s truth for you ­ and to hold as a
sacred place within your being so deeply and so tightly that no one else
in their opinion will be able to penetrate that. When you have this
anchored firmly within you, my friend, then all of the darts and arrows
that another person shoots at you to wound you will not affect you in the
least. I encourage you to take this to Him and spend time in allowing him
to help you overcome this. Does this help?

Student: Yes, very much so. And I know I do that, and I know who I am,
and I know when people say things about me, about even knowing who I am,
they don’t know who they are. And they are not coming from a place of
truth. But, like you told J., these noxious fumes still kind of make
their way into my psyche, into my soul, and disrupt. This seems very
unfavorable. What’s the point? If God sees us as whole and perfect and
beautiful and loving in truth. What’s the point? And that’s where I feel
the sadness and the grief.

Anatolia: But you have raised a good point, my friend. For the point is
you have the potential to reflect everything of goodness and truth and
beauty. But it is an ongoing and an eternal process for you. And so the
point is, not to worry about another person’s opinion, but to allow
yourself to become so beautiful and so highly reflective of the Father’s
goodness, that what another person thinks of you will not matter. The
point is focus on the Father. Do not focus on the other.

Student: I hope others would see that.

Anatolia: In time, as they awaken and grow in spirit, they will have
these lessons to learn as well. For the lessons are all the same, my
friend. And all we have shared with you over these years are ways in
which you can augment your faith, overcome your doubt, and be the most
beautiful child of the Father that you can become.

There is no escaping these lessons. Whether you awaken now or 15 years or
upon the Mansion Worlds is really immaterial. But all will awaken, all
will learn, all will grow. And if it is their choice not to choose this
path, then so be it. Let yourself not be concerned by the others anymore,
my friend. Stand firm in the faith of who you are becoming, and where you
are being guided. Let that be your overriding desire in your life. And
everything else will seem inconsequential, in time. Does this help?

Student: Very much so, for it strengthens my faith in who I am.

Anatolia: These lessons we have prepared for you are given to you in a
spiral like upward motion. For we go around to different topics each
time, and each time you gain greater understanding and greater synthesis
within you of who you are becoming as they become more a part of your
truth and your beauty. As you gain more of this sense of the upward
spiral-like growth, do not look down to see where you were. Look up to
the Father, see the light beaming, inviting, welcoming you, encouraging
you. Gravitate only towards that, and you will surely become like that
which is drawing you. Good evening, my friends.