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http://www.truthout.org/docs_2005/021305A.shtml
One For All
By William Rivers Pitt
t r u t h o u t | Perspective
Sunday 13 February 2005
When I was ten years old, a man attempted suicide by fire
in the front seat of my mother's car. Back then it was me and
mom
and the cats in a house near Boston College.
She was putting herself through law school at night while
working
various jobs by day,
and while we weren't rolling in material possessions by any
means,
that car of hers was the other apple of her eye.
It was an MGB convertible, clean white with a black ragtop and
trim, the kind of car they simply don't make anymore. My mother
used it
as kind of a rolling knapsack; the trunk was filled with her law
school
textbooks, notes, outlines, along with de-icer, oil, jumper
cables and
all the different odds and ends needed to keep a California car
running
and rolling through a New England winter.
The thing could go. Some of my strongest memories of childhood
involve the front seat of that car, with a bunch of grocery bags
stacked
on my lap because the 'back seat' was overflowing with books,
watching
my mother put the gearshift through its paces as she roared up
Commonwealth Avenue like something out of a Bond movie.
The man didn't know any of that. He was too busy drowning in his
own life. A severe and undiagnosed manic depressive on the
downward
plunge of a bipolar swing, addicted to cocaine and alcohol, his
experience as a student at Boston College had been transformed
into a
nightmare. He came down our street that night with a can of
gasoline in
one hand and a pack of matches in the other, looking for a place
to die.
My mother never locked anything. In the years we lived in that
house, we got broken into and robbed no less than four times.
The funny
part is that the thieves always slit a screen and came through a
window
or something, never realizing they could have just cruised in
through
the unsecured front door. My mother, even after all that, never
locked
the house, and never locked the car.
The man with the gasoline came down our street and found the MGB
sitting in the driveway with the lock button standing at
attention. He
opened the door and slid into the seat. Maybe he sat there for a
while,
watching his breath fog the windows. Finally, he took my
mother's tweed
winter coat that was sitting in a ball on the shotgun seat and
put it
over himself like a shroud. He poured the gasoline and tossed
the can
onto the floor. He popped a match.
I woke that night to the sound of engines, and saw red and blue
lights flashing across the ceiling. My room faced the street, so
I
jumped up and peered outside. The street outside my house was
filled
with fire trucks, police cars, and a crowd of neighbors. I saw
my mother
standing at the front of a knot of people, her breath pluming
out into
the cold air through the fist she had jammed into her mouth.
The car was in the driveway, on fire from stem to stern. Two
firefighters were holding up the back end while a third put the
hose to
the gas tank underneath. If the thing had blown, it would have
lit up
the far side of our house and sent those three firemen sailing
singed
into the puckerbrush. They got it under control in a matter of
minutes,
however, and soon what had been a jewel of a car sat in the
driveway on
melted tires, black as a lump of coal and hissing like a scalded
cat.
The firemen used prybars to open the driver's side door.
The car was empty.
My mother grabbed one of the firemen by the coat and asked him
something. He turned to the car and used the prybar to open the
trunk. I
watched as he threw a blackened cube onto the lawn, and then
another,
and then another. A sodden sheaf of singed papers followed. This
was all
that remained of her law school textbooks, her outlines, her
notes,
everything she needed for the final exams that were right around
the
corner.
The only thing to survive the blaze was Black's Law Dictionary,
which wound up sitting in the front entryway of the house, its
melted
cover smelling like barbecued benzene. By morning, there was
nothing
left of the car but a blackened spot in the driveway and a few
scattered, twisted coins. My mother stayed in bed late that day,
her
eyes red and blasted from crying as she called around to
classmates
hoping to get permission to copy their outlines for exams.
One night about a week later, the doorbell rang. My mother
opened
the door to find a young man standing there in scruffy jeans and
a green
sweater. She asked what he wanted. He pulled a hand out of his
pocket
and pointed to the burned law book sitting on the entryway floor
by his
feet. "I'm responsible for this," he said. My mother's bright
Irish blue
eyes blazed as she summoned him to the kitchen table. She sat
him down,
wreathed him in smoke from her cigarettes, and got his story.
He told her about the depression, about the cocaine and the
alcohol, about the night he tried to kill himself in her car.
When that
match popped alight, the gasoline had caught immediately. The
burning
and the smoke had terrified him, and he'd fled. Before
disappearing back
into the night, he had pulled the alarm box on the telephone
across from
our house, and waited for the sound of sirens before running
away. He
was at the absolute bottom, so consummately screwed up that he
couldn't
even get suicide right, and was there in our house to ask my
mother to
take him to the police.
Put yourself in her seat there in that kitchen a moment.
Here he was, the guy who burned up her car
and destroyed everything she needed for law school,
with exams right around the corner.
She'd sat through enough Criminal Law classes to know what one
phone
call to the cops
would mean for him.
Here he was, and his future was in her hands.
She thought about it for a while, and made her decision.
Instead of calling the cops, she gave him the telephone number
for the person in charge of Health and Human Services at Boston
College,
a man she'd known and worked with for years.
She told the kid to call her friend at HHS, and to get himself
into a
program.
If he quit the program before it was over, she said, she'd make
sure
he was prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.
The guy who burned up my mother's car got into a program
and got cleaned up.
He got into therapy and gained control of his depression.
After a while, he moved to Chicago, where he opened a clinic to
help
treat inner-city kids for drug and alcohol abuse.
For all I know, his clinic is still operating.
We got Christmas cards from him for a few years,
and then he faded out of our lives completely.
I've been thinking a great deal about this story
as the debate over the future of Social Security has raged
across my
television
and the newspapers.
In all the details about private accounts, budgets and the
bottom line, it feels as though something vital is being left
out
of the conversation.
The missing piece is simple: It is the obligation of the
citizens of
this country
to help their neighbors when their neighbors are in need.
That obligation becomes pressing when the neighbors are old,
or sick, or handicapped in some way.
This we call a community.
This is a large and diverse nation, with many citizens who need
assistance. In order to manage the job of providing that
assistance,
we pay taxes to federal and state governments,
which in turn disburse those monies to those who need it.
Americans have been well-trained to despise paying taxes,
and cutting taxes is a guaranteed winner for a politician
looking to hold on to his job.
Yet it was a Republican named Oliver Wendell Holmes who said,
"Taxes are the price we pay to live in a civilized society."
If a civilized society means roads and schools and a national
defense,
surely it must also mean we take care of those among us who need
our
help.
A lot of politicians like to talk about how this is a Christian
nation.
These also happen to be the same politicians barnstorming
for the end of Social Security as we've known it.
The Book of Matthew has Jesus teaching his followers,
"If any one would sue you and take your coat,
let him have your cloak as well;
and if any one forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles.
Give to him who begs from you, and do not refuse him who would
borrow
from you."
Aside from being holy writ for many,
that's a pretty good plan for a civilized society.
The concept for a new Social Security system being offered by
those
who see this as a Christian nation involves a nebulously-defined
process
of privatization that has to date failed completely to make
sense when
held up to the light of basic arithmetic.
In truth, their plan has more to do with winning an argument
that has been raging since the days of FDR than anything else.
These politicians would like to see the federal government
stripped of the ability to do much besides wage war,
and leave absolutely everything else to private corporations
seeking to turn a profit from the process.
It is worthwhile to note that the corporations seeking to enjoy
the
profits
from this are also the ones who pay for the politicians in
question. So
it goes.
It is difficult to find the Christian ethic in a movement
that would turn citizens into customers,
that would slam the door on those citizens who simply cannot
afford a
for-profit safety net.
It seems loving thy neighbor and blessing the meek
is only good fodder for church on Sunday,
leaving the other six days of the week open
to turning a profit on the backs of the poor, the sick, the old
and the
lame.
This is not worthy of a nation that thinks of itself not only as
great,
but as good.
Being good costs money, and involves sacrifice.
Being good involves doing what must be done
to take care of the weakest among us,
rather than leaving them at the mercy of a kind of economic
Darwinism
that would have made Jesus vomit on his own sandals in disgust.
Being good means taking the time to see through the words of
wolves
who would sell us a bitter pill while dressed as sheep.
The system as it stands needs work,
but not the kind of work that has been proposed.
A great nation can do better.
A good nation must do better.
My mother had the life of that young man delivered into her
hands,
and she chose to lift him up to a higher place
despite the sacrifices she was forced to accept.
Each of us holds the life and well-being of our neighbors in our
hands.
We can choose to lift each other up,
or we can shrug and decide it isn't our problem.
If we are indeed a community,
if we are indeed good, we can make the choice to do that
lifting.
Make the choice.
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